


To Muddle Through Uncertainties

by shadowgrl94



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dad!Simon, F/M, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Pre-Slash, Slow Burn, Tags Are Hard, not Clary friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 06:32:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13852053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowgrl94/pseuds/shadowgrl94





	To Muddle Through Uncertainties

It hadn’t been too long since he and the Shadow hunter finished burying the young man in the ground when they felt it shake. 

“It’s happening.” He warned them. It seemed pretty obvious to him but with Nephilim, you never knew. Especially with someone who seems as new to this as she did. A clawed hand popped out of the ground followed by another. It took another moment for the rest of the body to break its way out but it was faster than most which pleased Raphael. This fledging would be a strong one.   
The young fledgling’s eyes snapped to the only rapidly beating heart in the cemetery, hungry.

“Simon. Simon, it’s me. It’s…It’s Clary.” The girl cajoles but the boy only bares his fangs and hisses more animal right now than man. She screams in terror and as much fun it would be to watch, he knew once the fledgling came back to his senses that he would feel horrible. Sighing to himself, Raphael unzips the bag next to him and throws a bag of blood at him. Simon pounces on it, sinking his new fangs and sucking hard. 

“Once reborn, you emerge hungry…very hungry.” Raphael throws another bag at him and another. “Drink up.” He stops once the formerly dead boy drops the bag in panic. His wild eyes meeting his friend’s wet ones. 

“Clary…What-what’s happening?” Raphael can tell he’s asking for her to lie to him. He gets the feeling it goes over her head. 

“You…um…you died.” 

“I what?” He looks around at the cemetery, at Raphael’s presence above him, and inevitably at the empty bags of blood that is all over his hands and spattered on his clothes. His body tenses and you steel yourself in case he runs. 

“Oh my…Oh my G-.” He chokes out making the other vampire internally wince at the remembered pain. “Why can’t I say…?” 

“God? It will take time to regain the ability. There is a lot you will need to learn.” His wild brown eyes widen. 

“Oh my- Damn it!” His hands pull at his dirt covered hair. “Am I…am I a vampire?” he whimpers. With a heavy undead heart, he nods. Simon head swivels to his friend whose whole body is shaking in not so silent sobs. Her eyes haven’t left the sight of her friend since his rise. “Clary. Tell me…tell me this isn’t real. Tell me this isn’t really happening!” Her sobs become louder.  
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” 

“I’m… I’m repulsive!” He cries out, trying to wipe the dried blood off his hands. Raphael doesn’t intervene, curious to see what the Nephilim will say. 

“No! Please…please don’t say that okay? You’re still the same Simon. You’re still the same Simon I knew my whole life. The same guy who loves sci-fi and can recite every line from every Nicolas Cage movie. You’re the same Simon who carried me over the Brooklyn Bridge when I lost my shoe ok?” Simon gets angry at that. He stands, his body still tense but no longer shaking. 

“I’m not. I haven’t been that guy in a long time. That happened what three years ago? Clary… I can’t go home like this. What if I kill my mom or Rebecca? What if... G-ah Clary, what if I hurt Sarah. I could kill my daughter.” Raphael sucks in an unnecessary breath. He didn’t know this. Dios, he looks too young to be a father but then most mundane do now a days. If he had known this…well it’s too late now. The Shadowhunter came closer, a hand reaching out to the fledgling. 

“No Simon…I know you, you wouldn’t-” He dodges her hand, backing up into Raphael. 

“Don’t touch me! Please just… stay away.” Suddenly he’s gone. Running away from his problems with supernatural speed. Raphael turns to Clary, his face impassive but inside he’s rolling with contempt. 

“I’ll look after Simon. You have my word.” With that he leaps after the fledgling, following the scent of death and dried blood. He faintly hears the girl speak aloud one last time, “What have I done?” and asks himself the same thing. 

 

Once Raphael stopped in front of the empty alley the fledgling was hiding in, he felt the appearance of the two Shadowhunters. They must have followed him. He rolled his eyes as the redhead made her way towards the hunched over vampire. At least the blond one was smart enough to stay back. 

“Stay away! Don’t touch me! I’m dead!” 

“Undead” Raphael unhelpfully snarks at him, internally wincing. It was not the time for assholery.

“You did this to me!” He shouts at him, glaring. 

“No, I didn’t. Believe me, If I had known what I do now, I would have staked you myself.” That made the redhead turn and glare at him too like that was gonna make him cower. She turns back to her friend. 

“Simon, it was my choice. You died. Raphael brought you to us and I had a choice to make; I could stake your heart or I could…bury you and…you could come back.” Raphael watches as the fledgling steps back, his face one of betrayal. 

“Clary, why?” 

“Because I love you Simon!” He laughs darkly. 

“You call this love?! You brought me back to this? This nothing where I have to…feed and hide from the sun and not be able to be near the people that I love? To not be able to hold Sarah in my arms again? Or hear her laugh? I won’t be able to see her off to her first day of school or celebrate her bat mitzvah with her. Clary, my daughter is going to grow up thinking that I’m dead and then oh G-.” The Nephilim’s shoulders are shaking. Raphael can smell the watery salt from her tears. “Did you ever think about that?” 

“Simon, please you have to understand-” he shook his head, his eyes leaving her face as if he couldn’t stand seeing her. 

“Just stay away from me.” Raphael’s eyebrows rise as the fledgling steps around her and walks out of the alleyway. Raphael turns with him and they walk away. They walk in silence for a bit, Raphael leading him away from mundanes and toward hotel Dumont. 

“Will I ever be able to see them again…my family?” Raphael turned to look at him. He saw the doubt and yearning on his face, a sad reminder of the Latino’s newly turned one. 

“Look, first you gotta get this under control. Let’s go back to Hotel Dumort, get you fed, show you around.” He stops when he realizes the baby vamp isn’t walking anymore and turns around. 

“Raphael…please.” He drags a pale hand over his face in frustration. Emotions were not his strong suit, neither was showing sympathy. 

“Simon…I don’t know if you’ll get to see them again. I know you want to and the only way to do that without harming them is to get the blood lust under control. I will personally see to it that you surpass even myself but only if you come with me, comprende?” Simon hesitates for maybe a second before nodding. Raphael turns back around and takes off with vampire speed knowing that the fledgling will follow. 

It was easier than Raphael thought getting the fledgling to come with him. Without the desire to keep his family safe, the older vampire doubts it would have been that easy. But the thought of how a little girl won’t have her father in her life anymore keeps Raphael from considering this a job well done.


End file.
